As discussed in the class, interpersonal communication needs people to possess various skills to delivery effective communications. Despite possessing those technical skills, in real situations, conflicts can be still raised during interpersonal communications. Therefore，I am about to share my real experience.
Last semester, I took a marketing course which assigned a group project of creating a new-to-world product. The project consisted of a proposal, a formal writing paper, and an oral presentation. Originally, my group came up with an idea of creating an automatic check-out machine to replace some cashiers worked at supermarket. However, as conducting further research, we found that this kind of machine had already existed in Canadian supermarket. Therefore, we must create another new product. As time was quite sensitive, we were so anxious and rushed to assign five of our group members to come up with great ideas at next meeting.
However during the meeting, an interpersonal conflict was raised because one of our group members, John, insisted on his idea of creating a phone which consisting “hands free texting" application - an individual speaking into the phone and the phone reproducing the dialogue on the screen, especially when people driving cars. It was a great idea but I told to John that this type of phones has already existed in Chinese market. And then I prompted an idea of creating a portable tablet which combining functions of computers and printers for people to easily print and surf on the internet. Two of our group members agreed with my idea but John ignored my idea and still explained his ideas to us. I noticed John was emotional, sort of angry at me and he would not listen to my thoughts at all. Obviously, a conflict has risen among us and at that point, I told myself to control my emotion and tried to listen up first, and then patiently expressed more convincing evidences to oppose John’s idea after he finished talking. After I was doing that, John gradually calmed down and was willing to consider my suggestion. And then I apologized about opposing his idea directly at first hand. Finally, we realized that conflict was just contingent situation and our goal was to make our project perfect. Therefore, we agreed to do more researches together and eventually had congruence with conducting a project of my idea. Fortunately, our group aced the project plus the presentation.
As the situation described above, if you were on my position，how will you tackle with it ?
I think it's inevitable that John would be angry, since he probably spent quite some time coming up with the idea, and he probably needed some time to cool down and accept that the idea has already been used.
回复删除Perhaps you could have explained why his idea wasn't so great FIRST, before introducing your idea. At least that way, he wouldn't feel like you're dismissing his idea immediately. Besides, while you're persuading him, it would give him some time to regain his equilibrium and come to terms with it.
I agree with Ming Yan. John should not be angry when you rejected his idea. He really needed some time to control his anger and reconsider his idea.
回复删除However, John might think he did not get any respect, for you did not give him enough time to figure out the problem of his idea. People usually need 3~5 minutes to refresh their mind and accept new things. Thus if I were you, I would belabor why his idea was inappropriate by using different phrases until he realized the problem.
hi ,
回复删除on top of what mingyan and linhan has started, i have to add on another tip that could help facilitate group discussions from hereon:
-when someone proposes an idea, as mentioned, he could have given much thought and research about it before raising it.
-Always remember to practise active listening skills by acknowledging his idea, perhaps probing more to further understand what his idea comprises of.
Summarise up his points (we've learned this before :) ) to show you've clearly listened and are aware of what he wants to bring across.
-Thereafter, if you want to rebutt his point, do it subtlely. Put across why you think his idea may not be as feasible as yours, but end off with something like 'thats only what i think, but how about the rest of you?'
just something i do now and then to reduce the possible conflicts/tension that could arise during brainstorming sessions. :)